So check it: I'm from St. Louis and therefore am a faithful client of the First National Bank of St. Louis. In my past home of New York, Chase Bank is on every block. Here in Philly, it's Wachovia that's famous. So yesterday one of the items on my "To Do" list was a bullet point with "Open Wachovia account."
I walked into the bank, thinking I'd be there for 10 minutes... little did I know the Lord had something else in mind. I was introduced to one of the personal bankers, a middle-aged man who had a picture of his wife and two daughters on his desk. After the pleasantries of "good afternoon" and "how are you?" were exchanged, and I brought out my Missouri driver's license, he asked what brought me to Philadelphia. I told him about Villanova's Theology and Ministry program, and then he slowly said, "So... you are a ....God person."
Not really sure how to respond, I think I laughed and said something like, "You could say that, I suppose." He then asked, "So, how do you explain suffering in the world? How could a loving God allow such things to happen?" Hm. Not exactly the kind of discussion I had in mind for an escapade in the world of checking accounts and online banking. But, disponibilita, right? :) Go with it.
For the next hour and a half, our conversation ranged from his experience being raised in the Jewish faith (that he has now abandoned), the nature of free will, faith-based dietary restrictions, creationism and evolutionism (as not necessarily mutually exclusive) & both accounts of the Creation Story in Genesis, the Spirit of the Law (with comments from Paul & the Dali Lama!), liturgical rituals, the importance of relationship, and all things in between. I also remembered the two truths common in all religions and this would make my Religion 101 teacher proud: 1) Religions develop historically and 2) There is diversity in all religions. These helped immensely. Somehow, simply listing the topics doesn't adequately convey the amount of agression in his questions, nor the quality of those questions. All his questions (as probing or as accusatory as they were) were really good ones that I think any spiritually mature individual would face in his/her journey. He also commented on how young I was to think I know what life's all about (which I didn't appreciate-- age-ism, right there), but I did take that point to heart: I do have much to learn and wisdom does come from experience. So he helped me, too. In the end (God knows how!), we got around to opening a checking and savings account. Welcome to Philadelphia-- I'm official.
Here's what I'd like to say, though-- God gives you what you need when you need it, that is for certain-- and at that meeting at one of the many Wachovia's on Lancaster Ave, God delivered. What was amazing to me was that in previous conversations I had about matters like this with complete strangers, I would often feel targeted and attacked. However, this time, even though some questions were purposely meant to be agressive, as I sensed anger from his tone, I had a sense of peace, composure, and light-heartedness in my responses and musings. About 45 minutes into it, I realized, "Hey! As serious as these questions are, I'm having a good time!" God provided the openness and calmness in this experience. But perhaps most of all, God provided the opportunity for me to slow down from my busy list of "To Do's" and get in touch with what really matters: working through the tough questions IN COMMUNITY with others-- even complete strangers named Hal.
So... after One week of camping in Missouri, One week of visiting my Godmother and cousin up by Lake Superior in Wisconsin, One week of relaxing at home...
Here are a few things that I was reminded of during my time with my family. I have 7 brothers and sisters (so I'm the second-oldest of eight) and being so far away from them for 6 years has made me feel incredibly distant at times, but when I am home, I eat it up! :) I was especially reminded of them when my best friend from college, Liz, came to visit. She would comment on the things our family did and it made me pause and say, "Yeah. I really like that, too. Thanks for reminding me." :)
1) My mom is so funny. And I mean SUPER HYSTERICAL! The way she tells stories and recounts seemingly simple episodes, complete with accents, motions, and suspenseful pauses is simply amazing. I've missed that. With all the medical problems she's had this year, it's really something that she brings her unique sense of humor to share with those around her.
2) My parents are really affectionate towards each other. People will often tell me how cute it is that they always hold hands, go on walks after dinner, and hug--I guess growing up, I always just thought all parents were like that, so I didn't pay much attention to it. But it's so true! :) And I love it! Even more than the physical contact, I love the times when they are talking, and you can just tell that whatever the other is saying is THE most important thing for the other. They're really examples of GOOD LISTENERS!
3) Praying together as a family. I admit it-- growing up, I often wouldn't enjoy praying the family rosary. We would pray it every day as a family, either after dinner or in the car if we had someplace to go that day. As a kid, it seemed so gosh-darn LOOOONNNNGGGG! (In contrast, I loved when we did the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, because that went so FAST!) I think I've really missed that. There is something really special about a family lifestyle that is intentional about putting aside time for prayer together, even if it is not always appreciated.
4) Eating together. This is one thing that Liz brought to my attention. She had said that she enjoyed eating with my family because people would come in from work, and everyone would share about their day. I guess I always took this for granted.
5) The amount of stress that my mom places on wellness, recycling, buying local grocery items, using less (especially water and electricity!), and health foods ("Don't even THINK of bringing high fructose corn syrup, MSG, nitrates, aspartame, or hydrogenated oils into this house!"). There's that saying that goes, "Live simply so that others may simply live."-- my mom really embodies this.
6) My dad's many small sacrifices are ways of showing that he loves us. He barely ever buys things for himself. He flies planes for a commercial airline, and as part of the job, pilots are given a Per Diem stipend while on trips. Instead of using the money for food, he'll save it. When he is at home, he'll take so much time with us, teaching us how to change oil in the cars, work the embroidery machine, start up bank accounts, critiquing Stephen's violin playing, packing bikes, giving directions, etc... there really is no end to this list. There will be days when it's clear that he's exhausted, but he'll still take time to play cards with us or sit on the porch and enjoy a beer-- with those of us that are old enough :).
7) My brothers joking with each other-- it's like watching a reality TV show. Really, all four of them have completely different interests and personalities. It's kinda like Big Brother meets The Partridge Family meets Friends meets MadTV. Yeah.
So here's to appreciating family, and me trying to do a better job of it. :)
Family Picture taken many moons ago... 5 years ago(?) (This was the summer I had purple highlights in my hair... don't ask.)
So here I am, a mere five hours away from when I need to get up, shower, and drive to the airport for a flight to Chicago and then Philadelphia... and what am I doing? Blogging. That's right. The excitement is not allowing me to sleep. :) I realized that I hadn't posted this yet, so here it is! :)
At the end of the CMC year, missioners write reflections on the experience. Below is mine. I tried not to have a self-imposed length limit-- so hopefully that comes across. No amount of words could adequately express it all, but here's a small piece for how grateful I am for this experience. So, thanks, Mother Cabrini, for making this all possible. We are, as she said, "merely spectators of God's wonderful works." :)
God has a way of giving us exactly what we need when we need it. (In fact… God is SO good at that!) My first year with Cabrini Mission Corps, I learned in a very tangible way that Ministry is Relationship— the heart of ministry and mission is the acceptance of God’s love for us and sharing in the lives of others. This second year, I believe that God opened my heart to receive this gift of relationship even more. The gift of relationships is really all I have, when I think about it. It’s like in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, when Lena’s grandmother says, “In this life, family is the most precious gift we are given, the most sacred. Turn your back on them and that is when you truly have nothing.” Our interactions with others are just that—precious gifts that cannot be taken for granted. Time and time again I was reminded by those in my community and those at my mission site to look at every day and every encounter with another with a spirit of gratitude. Even the most simple interactions with students, people on the NYC subway, and the workers at Lyric Diner at the corner 3rd Ave and 22nd Street were sources of joy for us. Most especially, I was reminded to see God’s invitations of grace and relationship with him as the summit of this gift of relationship.
I was led by joy to Mother Cabrini High School in New York City, where I spent two incredible years. At the beginning of this year, I had my students re-write the words to John Bell’s “The Summons.” All of the students’ papers touched me as I read their own interpretations of the lyrics. One, in particular, still stands out to me. Ashley Garcia revised one question to be: ‘Will you let me be the most important person in your life?’ I feel that this simple question is precisely what God asks of us every day. My relationship with God is the single most important relationship in my life and all others contribute to that foundation.
Many times, I feel like God has continually invited me into this question. Who am I to you, and who are you? What do you stand for? As part of the debriefing process, missioners give mission appeals at parishes in the Philadelphia area—the money raised during the collections go toward Catholic missions around the world. I had to laugh when I saw the reading for the Gospel for that Sunday. I felt that they returned to the exact theme of coming to know who God is for me. See, the reading for the day was from Luke’s ninth chapter, where Jesus practically grills his apostles by asking: “WHO do people say that I am?!” What a question. Jesus looks into our eyes and still asks today: “Who am I to you?” Whether we are full-time missionaries or not, this question is inherently linked to discovering who we are and answering the call to be who God created us to be.
In the same spirit, my spiritual director this year had told me to ask myself: Who is Jesus to me? Where do I see the face of God? Where do I feel God’s presence? These years as a missioner have revealed to me Jesus in the marginalized, the forgotten, the misunderstood, and the underestimated, but also Jesus the dreamer and Jesus the faithful one. From the Midnight Runs where we would spend the day preparing toiletries, clothing, and bag lunches to distribute to the homeless; to retreats and prayer groups with the students; to mourning with a student who had a miscarriage and healing with another after her abortion; to celebrating college acceptances; to teaching how to serve a Mass—these relationships revealed to me the hope and resilience found in God’s people and the power of community found in sharing our faith with one another, and what sacred gifts these are!
Speaking of community— Mary, Crystal, and the sisters we lived with were my heroes this year. Living in a Cabrinian community of diverse, accomplished, well-traveled, intelligent, caring, warm, supportive, and spirit-filled women helped me in so many ways. We laughed, cried, and shared in the daily joys and struggles of life. When friends and family of the missioners came to visit, there were the MSC’s, eager to welcome and get to know our visitors. When I did not receive my first choice internship for graduate school, I was heartbroken. Mary and Crystal creatively cheered me up and said, “If you thought that was the perfect match for you, think of how awesome the next step will be—because God always makes sure things work out in our best interest.” And they were right—the internship that I was offered the very next day matched me even better than the first. It was truly a Spirit-thing that Mary, Crystal, and I went through CMC together. I have never felt more supported, more challenged, and more present in my spiritual journey than with these two young women. Whether we were pursuing the sacred in the many young adult programs that NYC offers, to salsa dancing at night, to visiting with other volunteers and missioners, to blog sessions in the community room, to staying up late cleaning, to sharing about our days at the mission sites, to singing and dancing for the Senior MSC’s, Mary and Crystal kept it real—they were sources of constant inspiration for me, yet we all saw each other as equals. These relationships with the CMC’s and MSC’s continue to impress upon me the importance of gratitude within relationships.
On my last Sunday in New York City, Mary and I went to Sacred Heart Convent to celebrate Sr. Claudia’s birthday with Mass and lunch. Fr. Benedict’s homily was a reflection on the nature of freedom, love, and vocation. He said, "What keeps you from love—that is your slavery. Where you can love most—that is your vocation." To include this quotation at this point may seem off-topic from the subject of this reflection as a whole, but I once again was filled with such a sense of gratitude as I heard Fr. Benedict share his thoughts on the Gospel. What a great way to close these two years as a missioner—with a spirit of thankfulness for my vocation to love as well as my personal slaveries of self-doubt and struggle (at times) to love myself. There is no doubt in my mind that the relationships I have been gifted with these years have greatly helped me name and claim my vocation and slaveries. I will take these joyful moments of relational and spiritual growth with me to the next phase of my life. I hope and pray that I will continue to live the values of Mother Cabrini (especially disponibilitá!) as I go forward from life as a missioner. Thank you!
*And Thank You! to Mary, Sr. Arlene, Crystal, and Gina for their pictures! :)
So it's true-- I rarely quote Pope Benedict XVI/ Il Papa/ P-Benny. It's not for lack of reading or hearing what he has to say-- I scoured a shop behind the Vatican in Rome for an English copy of Deus Caritas Est when it hit the religious bookstores, only to realize I had been walking past it for a good 15 minutes. I suppose I just never read anything of his that made me look up and say, "Wow. Now, THAT hit me!" in a way that made me want to jump up and down and instantly email, text, and Tweet it to everyone on my contacts list... until now.
I follow the blog for one of the religious congregations that sponsored me at Saint Mary's College. I met with three in their cloistered community last month, a few days before I left NY, because I wanted to meet in person some of the beautiful souls who opened themselves to sponsor a complete stranger in higher education. So, I hopped on a train from Penn Station and headed out to visit the Dominican Sisters of Summit, NJ. (I believe I Tweeted this experience.) I brought pictures of the Cabrini Sisters, CMC, and ministry at the high school. We had a wonderful time sharing in the presence of each other for a couple of hours. During this time, we shared our blog information and I've been following them ever since.
Tonight, after returning home from a 12-hour drive from Washburn, WI to St. Louis, MO, I logged on and started catching up on emails. I made a pass at all of the blog updates I'd missed and saw that the Dominican Sisters had this golden nugget of vocational goodness on their blog. After reading it, I and simply HAD to share it! (The Spirit made me do it!!!) I am retaining their emphasis from the quotation of the pope. This he shared with young people at the Cathedral of Sulmona, Italy (which is a town that I visited back in my sophomore year of college while traveling with my dear friend, Laura Lucci, on a pilgrimage to her father's town of Pacentro!).
"You have just asked me: how does one recognize God's call? Well, the secret of the vocation lies in the capacity for and joy of distinguishing, listening to, and obeying his voice. But to do this it is necessary to accustom our hearts to recognizing the Lord and to having an awareness of him as a Person who is close to me and loves me. As I said this morning, it is important to learn to live in our days moments of inner silence in order to hear the Lord's voice. You may be sure that if we learn to listen to this voice and to follow it generously, we have nothing to fear, we know and feel that God is with us, that God is Friend, Father and Brother. In a word: the secret of the vocation lies in the relationship with God, in prayer that develops, precisely, in inner silence, in the capacity for listening, hearing that God is close. And this is true both before the decision, that is, at the time of deciding and setting out, and afterward, if one wants to be faithful and to persevere on the way."
My experience as a writing tutor reminds me what bad manners it is to have a dropped quote-- a quotation from another source that is simply left dangling within your essay/paper/written work without any additional commentary on the subject of that quote. It is simply seen as improper because the whole point of writing is to expand on ideas and share your reactions to ones previously stated. In a worst-case scenario, a dropped quotation can be seen as an act of laziness. However, in this case, I believe that the inscription above can hold its own. I leave it up to the reader to ingest the words at his/her pace without my commentary. Think about it. Pray about it.Let it marinade and ferment in your heart and mind. I know I'll be thinking about it for quite a while.
Thanks, Holy Spirit. :)
Speaking of vocation, this is an excellent book on the subject. It was recommended to CMC by our good friends Gina and Luke. It reads as a scholarly study of how our deepest desires and vocation can be stirred by our surroundings, histories, and needs in the world today. It took me a while to finish (Read one chapter, process for a week. Read another chapter, reflect for two weeks. Lost the book. Found the book. Etc...), but in the end, I was glad I did. :)
So... I recently emailed Sr. Sharon, who is currently missioned in Australia at the Cabrini Hospital. She sent back this quote from a person who's got some really great WOW's (words of wisdom).
As the school year rapidly draws to a close, it's time for another Creative Project blog! Months ago, we were studying the role of art in Counter-Reformation Italy and the role of art within the Catholic Church. One day, we watched a selection of clips from Simon Schama's Power of Art: Caravaggio DVD. :) I HAD to incorporate my favorite artist into our studies, and Caravaggio was revolutionary for many reasons, primarily because he painted Jesus into the contemporary settings of Rome. For example, his Calling of St. Matthew (below) takes place in a Roman bar with dim lighting and money and cards for gambling.
Caravaggio's goal was to make the Gospel message of redemption and Jesus' saving power in the "here and now"-- hence, the dress and setting of his paintings were familiar to the contemporary Roman scenes, not the settings of the Holy Land. Needless to say, Caravaggio's stylings were seen as scandalous and shocking for many viewers, who were used to the pristine and pure images of artists such as Raphael. In class, we talked about seeing Jesus as a real person who is present in our lives, not a static, impersonal deity who is trapped in paintings and shrines.
As a fun creative project, I had the students draw their own Caravaggio-inspired piece: They had to draw Jesus into a contemporary setting and then write a paragraph explaining why they placed him in that particular setting. Why Jesus is needed there? In what ways do you see God's presence in this setting?
A sampling are below: Jesus at a disco, Jesus in our classroom 302, Jesus at the mall, Jesus embracing the entire world, and Jesus spreading peace in Times Square:
(Closeup)
The responses of the students were so diverse. Happy Jesus, Heartbroken Jesus, Hidden Jesus, and Helping Jesus all made appearances. They were overwhelmingly heartfelt, honest, and child-like, and I am honored to share some of the paragraphs below:
"Jesus is needed at Mother Cabrini so that He can help us follow Him. We need to learn how to appreciate each other and the bond that we share as Cabrini Sisters. With Jesus' help, we can love each other as ourselves. We will always try to do what is right. If we follow Jesus, we will be good daughters of God. Jesus is needed so we can share his love and live God's Word."
Paragraph on the back: "I drew Jesus on top of the Empire State Building. My reason for drawing him this setting was so he could be seen by everyone. Since the Empire State Building is the tallest building in New York, so it is the summit of New York. If Jesus were there, people would see a bright sun at day and a shining star at night. Jesus would be the "Jewel of the City."
These two were very similar, so this is a combined reflection on the paragraphs on the back: "Jesus is at a street corner outside my building at night full of gang members/delinquents. There are a lot of gang-bangers and drug dealers outside my building. A typical delinquent sells/buys drugs, smokes, drinks, and/or owns a gun illegally. They definitely need Jesus to guide them back on the right track. Jesus is needed because he loves his children. They are at a street corner at night because that's when delinquents/gang members usually come out and feel the strongest."
Paragraph on the back of the bottom picture: "Jesus is in the Yankee Stadium. He is here because this is where a lot of people come together to celebrate the team that best represents them. I think Jesus will be happy looking over all the types of people that gather together to watch a baseball game. Everyone is here very happy and I know that makes Jesus happy. I am sure he enjoys all the smiles of people and is there to enjoy every moment of it. He looks at all his children and sees the beauty of everyone."
Paragraph on the back: "I put Jesus [in] the room that y parish holds youth group. I think Jesus is needed there because it is a very small group of teens. Most of these teens need help and comfort. A lot of them tend to stray away from God or not pay attention during prayer. Also, we need Jesus to give us all strength to do what is right and needed. Also to keep our youth group strong and to keep us expand and bring more people to the group."
This student wrote: "I chose to draw Jesus in Florida. I drew him there because it is the place I want to go more than any place in the world. It seems like a very peaceful area and Jesus is a person who brings peace to us."
The back reads: "In my picture, I drew Jesus enjoying a beautiful day at Ocean World. On the left corner there are seats and many people are sitting and waiting for the dolphin show. Jesus is getting ready to swim with the dolphins and do a wonderful show for the audience. I chose Ocean World for Jesus to go because Jesus loves animals and also wanted to show his amazing talents that he has with animals."
The paragraph on the back of the top image: "We need Jesus at all times, but most especially we call upon Jesus during times of need like my apartment building fire. People call upon Jesus to guide them through the chaos. We pray for them, their families, and their neighbors."
One of the many things I enjoyed about this assignment was that it also gave me more intimate details about the lives of my girls. Each one brought her background, her view of God, her artistic thinking and talents, and for many-- a sense of humor. :) Looking over our bulletin board during prayer, we were reminded of where to thank God for being with us as well as praying to recognize God in all spaces. As I removed these pictures this week (as we are cleaning out our classrooms now), I had such a feeling of gratitude for each student and how special and unique each is. I can't articulate how much these girls have inspired my own relationship with God, but the images, joys, and struggles of these students are clearly seen through their reflections.
Found this on Crystal's Blog and I just LOVE it! Everything we've been talking about this year about knowing yourself; discovering the gift of self; voicing needs and boundaries; practicing gratitude; and loving mission, community, and solitude is included in Dr. Brene' Brown's work. It's a great resource to browse and use for reflection when you have a chance. To check out more: http://www.brenebrown.com/badge/ Thanks, Crys! :)
Even though it was almost a month ago, with Father's Day around the corner and my mother's birthday also coming up, I thought it would be appropriate to show some images that were taken when about 1/2 of my family was in town... :)
The weekend of May 15th, 16th, & 17th, my parents, my sister Addie, and my sister Joey came to visit! (Unfortunately, my five other siblings were unable to come. :( ) However, we had such a wonderful time with the five of us! Here is a runthrough of our weekend:
(Thanks to my dad for the pictures!)
First stop: Mother Cabrini Shrine & High School! :)
This is the Shrine that is connected to the high school, so this is where all of the school Liturgies are. It was so special to be able to share this place with my family! In the back of the Chapel, you will see the mosaic that tells the story of Mother Cabrini. Her body is contained below the altar.
Stained Glass Window at the back of the Shrine:
Next was Sushi: 50% off your order @ Sushi Lounge on St. Mark's & Ave. A. :)
Staten Island Ferry! One of my favorite things to do in NYC. :)
Free & Beautiful!
Waiting for the Ferry... Kudos to my dad for capturing a classic Sherman family moment on film:
Relaxing @ Columbus Community!
On Sunday morning, Mary, Crystal, Addie, and I made breakfast of French toast, Pancakes, Scrambled Eggs, Bacon, and other goodies! :) (Thanks to Mary for the pictures!)
The Today Show! (Yeah, Al & Anne!)
Times Square-- Up on the American Eagle Screen! (Who 'dat?!)
Thanks family! Being apart from my family for the past six years has made me much more appreciative of the time we do spend together.
Prayer for Families:
God made us a family. We need one another. We love one another. We forgive one another. We work together. We play together. We worship together. Together we use God's word. Together we grow in Christ. Together we love all people. Together we serve our God. Together we hope for heaven. These are our hopes and ideals. Help us to attain them, O God, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Today started out great! The high school didn't have classes because of the Memorial Day Weekend, so I was able to sleep in until 7:30, which was WONDERFUL! :) Then, Gina, our CMC director, called sharing some great news. It's always so comforting to hear her voice and laugh together-- even when I'm half awake and don't know which way is up-- she's so patient with me and my slow processing in the morning! :)
Then it was a day of packing for Michelle. Sr. Mary Lou Andes who lives two blocks away has been wanting to visit Sr. Christine Marie (who lives at Cabrini College in Philly), and so Sr. Mary Lou offered to take me with her so I could drive down my things to Philadelphia before the start of the school year. And, I'll be spending time with Mary Beth Harris, a wonderful friend and fellow writing center tutor from Saint Mary's, who now also goes to Villanova and lives in the area-- can't wait! Our Road Trip will be tomorrow at 9:30am! I promised to bring double-chocolate chip cookies, which I just finished baking with assistance from Crystal and Sr. Pat in the moral support department. ;)
But back to this morning: I had breakfast with Mary and then she left for Wisconsin, where she will be for the weekend, celebrating at friend's wedding ceremony. Crystal was gone when I got up, going to spend the day with a friend of hers. So that left me to face my room with the will to de-clutter, sort, pack, and tape to my heart's content... or discontent, as it soon would become.
The entire process was pretty emotional-- as I sorted clothes and the multitude of books (how did I acquire so many books within 10 months?!) into "keep," "donate to the high school," and "Goodwill" piles, I just got incredibly sad and heavyhearted. I took down all of the photos and cards that had been taped on the walls. I'm keeping about two weeks worth of clothes with me, but-- all but one drawer are empty, and my closet looks sparse. Visual reminders that this last month will pass all too quickly. As Mary calls it in her blog, it's pre-Separation Anxiety. I've struggled at many times to be present and not anticipate the course of future events, and I'm still working on it.
The most time consuming part has been the papers. I get very attached to my notes from workshops and retreats, prayer flyers, notes and letters from friends and family, and the handouts with the Order of Worship from the 5pm St. Francis Masses... that they just pile up in my living space. I had piles upon piles of papers to sort, recycle, shred, or give away, and to be honest, I'm not finished with this part yet, and it's 11:45pm! Needless to say, I've been tackling this portion of the packing in shifts with multiple breaks. :) Grad school pamphlets? Into the "TO RECYCLE" box. Old applications and essays with personal information? Into the "TO SHRED" bin. I even found a "To Do" list from September, Holy Cards from Sr. Angie, lists of vitamins to take from my mom, literature from the adult education classes I took at St. Francis, study guides for my Liturgy students, notes of encouragement and thanks, an overabundance of statements from Chase Bank, and post-its with titles of books to read whenever I got the chance. AND, I even unearthed my original application to Cabrini Mission Corps dated November 2007. Awesome! I think what is so time consuming about the papers is that I feel compelled to read each handout... and when I do, all the emotions surrounding the event come flooding back. Then the nervousness for when Crystal, Mary, and I part ways began to set in... a visual of how I felt is necessary at this time:
*
Eek!
But then in the midst of packing, organizing, and taping boxes, -- just as my heart was beating irregularly and I felt like I needed to eat a ton of something soothing to calm down-- I had a moment... Just as I was getting discouraged because I realized how soon June 23rd is (on that day, Crys will make her way back to California)... I came across a paper that was given to us on a retreat led by Julie Lupien from the organization, From Mission to Mission.
The green 8x10 paper with a simple graphic of a circle in the background read in a calm and informal font:
Look back and thank God
Look forward and trust God
Look around and see God
Look within and find God
Then I remembered that my fruit of the Holy Spirit that I had been given a few days ago during prayer with the community (see this blog entry) was Peace. In those words on the mint green paper, I found the Holy Spirit breathing her encouragement and love directly to my soul. A gentle breeze came in through my window and rustled the paper, as if it were carrying the words, "See how God has guided you in the past? History repeats itself-- We're not going anywhere. So relax and know that we're going to take care of you, Mary and Crys, even though you won't be under the same roof."
The funny thing is, I don't even recall if the paper was given to me this year or last year-- in any case, I found the voice of God in these four lines today. Thanks, Holy Spirit. I think I'm slowly getting the picture. Thanks for not giving up on me. :)
*And thanks to Julie for the handout, as well to www.eastendhypnosis.com for their most appropriate graphic of the frightened turtle above.*
One fabulous member of our community is named Sr. Archangel. She is wonderful. One of a kind, she will speak her mind, has the greatest one-liners, always wears a pin of the Sacred Heart or Mary, gets up at 3am to have her ritual coffee and do laundry, and always makes sure the CMC's (or as she calls us, "the girls") are eating and safe. :) Here she is pictured third from the right in the dark jacket. :) (And thanks again to Mary for the picture!)
Today she and I had a talk around the kitchen table. After my 7:45am bike ride, I returned home to find Archangel in the kitchen. Our conversation went something like this, after I not-so-gracefully plopped down across from her:
Me: "ARCHANGEL!!! Good morning! I have a question for you."
Archangel: (pretending to be grumpy) "What do you want?"
Me: "Well, what is the meaning of life?"
Archangel: (looking up from her newspaper) "That's your question?"
Me: "No, there's another, but this one first."
Archangel: "The meaning of life is to be good, kind, and love one another. We are made in the image and likeness of God-- you know that! So we need to be good, kind, and love one another. Sometimes we don't do our best, but that's the human-ness. But that's just my opinion...Big deal."
Well stated, and there you have it-- straight from the mouth of an angel. Short, sweet, direct, and true. I'm really going to miss her next year.
After that, I asked the real question I had, which was if she could lead prayer on Monday. Crystal and I (who usually share Monday's community prayer) will be taking students to the Chapel of Mother Elizabeth Ann Seton after school and aren't sure if we'll be back in time. When this happens to anyone who leads prayer that night, we just ask someone to switch with us. After popping the question to Sr. Archangel, she replied, "Of course! And while you're down there in Battery Park, you can go to the McDonald's by there. The girls will like that." :) Always looking out for us, that Archangel. :)
Today at school, I felt off somehow. I'm sure it was a mixture of an irregular sleeping pattern this week, a heavy heart from something a student had shared with me, the anxious attitude of the juniors and seniors, and a schedule of an assembly and faculty meetings. Then there was a misunderstanding and lack of communication where I was at fault. Needless to say, it wasn't the best day at the mission site. Feeling defeated and needing some serious physical and emotional sunshine, I left school to sit in Central Park to absorb the sun for a while. I read a book that my spiritual director recommended, Living Creatively by Fr. Adrian Van Kaam (some may recognize his name from Spirituality/Psychology circles and from his mission to smuggle food to Jews during the Nazi occupation in Europe). I also read the first few chapters from a book that Jenny passed on to me, The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacob. It's a story about women who form a community of knitters on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and how they come to share in the lives of one another every Friday night. Then I headed back home, made a run by Goodwill, and ate dinner with the community, Sr. Pat (who moved out to the Shrine in Colorado earlier in the year and is visiting for the next few weeks), and Andrea (a close friend of Mary's and a wonderful person!).
Tonight at prayer, Sr. Toni introduced us to a tradition from her former community. The week before Pentecost, her community would give out cards with the Gifts and Fruits of the Holy Spirit to think about, pray about, and focus on in the upcoming weeks. After a prayer service that focused on the invocation and presence of the Holy Spirit, she shared some cards that were made by Sr. Catherine. Each card had a Gift of the Holy Spirit, description of that gift, and a Fruit of the HS.
My card reads:
GIFT: UNDERSTANDING FRUIT: PEACE
"Understanding is the second gift of the Holy Spirit, and people sometimes have a hard time understanding (no pun intended) how it differs from wisdom. While wisdom is the desire to contemplate the things of God, understanding allows us to grasp, at least in a limited way, the very essence of the truths of the Catholic Faith. Through understanding, we gain a certitude about our beliefs that move beyond faith."
So Surprise! I definitely need PEACE, so I appreciate that, but I must say that I am one of those people who has a hard time distinguishing the difference between understanding and wisdom. I look forward to witnessing how understanding is a conviction beyond faith. Stay tuned!
In other news of the spreading of Joy, I found this online, and absolutely love it! It's a performance of University of Oregon's "On The Rocks" acappella group when they spread the love on NYC's A-TRAIN (how Crystal and I get to our mission up in the Heights)! Enjoy!
Two of the many celebrations where the Spirit was present this week were Junior Ring Day and the Jubilee Celebrations!
(Other times this week were: 9 Confirmations of our Cabrini students, great discussions with my students, visiting Villanova & finding roommates on my day off, and my parents and two of my seven siblings will be visiting tomorrow!)
Last Friday, we had the Junior Ring Day festivities. The day starts out with the Juniors receiving their MCHS rings in a prayer service in the Shrine, followed by a boat trip down the Hudson. The Junior Ring Ceremony is one of the most work-intensive events with behind-the-scenes work of the Liturgies so far. I don't want to get into all of the specifics, but it's a lot of work. During the ceremony, I was so worried about one of my Liturgy students making a mistake, that I made one myself! I skipped through a few parts of the program, so we had to loop back and pickup the skipped parts. In the end, it turns out that not many people noticed the mistake. It was humbling, and a huge thanks goes out to Crystal, Sr. Toni, and Maureen (another teacher at the school) for all their help-- I couldn't have done it without their help, support, and advice in telling me to RELAX! :)
So Crystal and I chaperoned the Junior Boat trip that follows the prayer service. Included in the trip were food and dancing on the floor.. and Miley's "Hoedown Throwdown" was one of tracks that the students danced to. Crystal and I had never seen this dance performed, but after witnessing three of the junior students: Lukia, Jiselle, and Khadijah dance, we decided to also learn it. So we did... in the Campus Ministry Center with the help of our students and this video:
On one hand, it's a cute commentary merging religious life and pop culture informed by the musical styling of Beyonce. On the other hand, not necessarily true. Although religious sisters, brothers, and priests are celibate, they aren't technically "single." I remember earlier this year, we were discussing Christians and Jews, and Sr. Angie piped up, "Well, my husband is a Jew!" :) We just celebrated the Jubilee's of some of the MSC's last Saturday. One member of our community, Sr. James, celebrated 50 years as a sister, along with Sr. Damien, Sr. Maria Loretta, Sr. Candida, and Sr. Aloysia! (One picture from the day is from Mary on the left.) And Sr. Cleta celebrated 80 years of religious life! Not many people can claim to being married that long!
So here's to two beautiful examples of joy this week: Dancing with the Juniors, and Celebrating Religious Lives of the Sisters.
