Joy: Anthony de Mello, Conversations, and Attitudes of Abundance

Tony de Mello, SJ says: 

"As you identify less and less with the "me", you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last!" 

Easier said than done, for sure.  And perhaps it is especially difficult for us raised with the Western idea of self, and Americans in general.  I remember going to a speaker who said that the top-selling magazines in America in the 90's went from People to Us to Self.  So identifying less and less with the "me" can surely be a struggle-- which we can address and overcome in many ways: reflection, service ("The greatest way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service to others." -Ghandi), and being mindful of our connectedness and inter-dependency with others. (Reading Rahner for my Foundations class and last night's portion included "Man as Dependent.") Anyway, the lost art of conversation as a tool to identify with our connectedness has been on my mind recently.


Conversations with others has been especially fruitful for me the past two weeks. I found myself completely mesmerized by sharing and openness during one, that I even missed the 12:05 Mass in Corr Chapel @ Villanova-- but I don't think Jesus minded. We were talking about him, anyway-- and "where two or more are gathered...."  :)  


Conversations in my check-out line of Trader Joe's are of particular delight to me.  Some are hysterically funny: for example, the customer who taught her son how the Fox Trot while waiting for the person in front of her to pay via credit card.  As I was scanning and bagging their groceries, we talked about the Charleston and even had an impromptu session on Salsa and my passionate love for Bachata.  So good. During my first day on the register, a customer grabbed my arm while I was scanning her garbanzo beans, and said, "I'm sorry-- but you are so beautiful! And so happy!" I laughed and replied: "I just have a lot to be happy about." She responded, "That's beautiful-- you have so much to be happy about." I wish I could have engaged in a longer conversation, but during my break, I reflected that I hope I didn't come off as being arrogant, but really, in an attempt to live with an attitude of abundance and gratitude, I try (but still sometimes fail) to see and trust that all will be well (kudos to my girl Julian of Norwich). 


Because in an attitude of abundance, we come to the realization that whatever comes our way are opportunities to love. Jesus came that we may have life, and have it in abundance. (John 10:10. Word.)  And by resting in this truth of being the children of the Lord, we identify less with the "me" and more with the Christ who increases within us (John 3:30).

I love this image of de Mello because of his joy-- not just the smile, but you can tell he is someone who--at the moment this image was captured-- does not feel the need to impress. He is simply himself: free, happy, madly in love with his Creator.

Well played, Tony. Well played.  

Peace,
-Michelle